So Here It Is!!!

So here it is ladies ... I am now 40 years old. I wake up each morning feeling more tired then when I went to bed. I seem to be taking an Advil with my vitamins each day to cut down on the aches and pains. Since Christmas I have put on 10 pounds!!!!!! I had to go to Eddie Baurer today and get some fat pants because my other pants are getting to tight.

I really feel like I am loosing control of ME!!! I didn't realize how bad it was until yesterday when I left for the grocery store. As I was driving there I started to feel wide awake. I walked through the store feeling refreshed... somewhat relaxed I was able to focus on the tasks at hand. On the way home I wasn't dreading putting away the groceries... Instead I enjoyed each moment and then managed to get Reegan to bed after two stories... Instead of flopping on the couch which as of late has been my usual thing to do I folded and put the clothes away with gusto.

I felt my old self once again. I was not just going through the motions but I was actually in the moment living each minute and feeling all there is to feel ... seeing all there is to see. I almost wanted to cry, it truly had been so long since I had felt like this.

Unfortunately it did not last... This morning I woke up with the same old pains and the same old going through the motions thing. Feeling the way I did last night has made me miss myself... I just have know idea how to get that feeling back. It feels like in the last seven months I am slowing loosing my figure... my spunk... my drive to do better at all things... my ME!!!

If you asked me today what I would want my answer would simply be. I want to be left alone for a while to fine Me again.

Unfortunately having three kids and a husband makes that very hard to do.

Oh well today is almost over and who knows what tomorrow will bring!!!!

Thanks for listening.