Four years ago when this picture was taken, I remember looking at it and thinking what a wonderful time I had in Banff.. I felt as alive and strong as this picture made me look.
The year is now 2009 and I would give just about anything to look and feel now the way I did when this picture was taken.
I was a good 15 pounds lighter in this picture my body didn't hurt on a daily basis.. I loved getting up each day.. I walked tall feeling and knowing nothing was going to stop me when I wanted or needed to do something.
My husband and I had just made the decision that I would just be a stay at home mom while we waited for our referral. At the time of this picture I loved life and all it had to offer.
So as you can imagine it's a mystery to me how in a few short years the picture of me is so different. It feels like it been a slippery slope, but I look in the mirror and really don't know who I am anymore. I could tell you each day what it is I DON'T want to do but I am unable to tell you what it is I want to do. So much of my day I feel that I am just going through the motions but I am NOT really in the moment that I live in the land of FOG.
What ever is going on is effecting my physical well being, as well as my emotional well being. I have NO interest in being with family, extended family or friends.. I have no desire to take a trip or just go shopping. Even my beloved Chocolate has started to taste sour as the pounds keep pileing on.
I am smart enough to know that something must be wrong... You just don't go from A to Z for know good reason. About six weeks ago I started back to daily exercising, 30 minuets Monday to Friday on the elliptical trainer. Typically once I start to get moving any weight I might have put on would drop off within a week or two... You can imagine my surprise when after 6 weeks I stepped on the scale to see I had put on 5 more pounds and my clothes were fitting me a little more snugly. WHAT IT GOING ON!!!
I have a sneaking suspicion what's happening is none other then the early signs of menopause or more affectionately know as Peri menopause. That would explain the physical changes as well as the emotional changes... At my yearly physical this week I had a list of blood tests I wanted my Doctor to run ... I am hoping something comes from these test.
So ladies... "These Are The Days Of My Lives" and right now it SUCKS!!!!!
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2 Don't Be Shy Leave Me A Comment:
Wendy!! your making me a little teary eyed. Hopefully you will be able to find out more about what's going on when you get the blood tests back. Just a suggestion to maybe make yourself feel more alive, check out this website, it's a burlesque class, with pilates, a little bit of yoga and cardio.. and the best part is a dance routine. I have gone to one class already and have signed up again. www.burlesquercise.ca
how are you feeling? whats going on?
i didnt forget about the Macaroons, my Uncle died so I have been a bit busy, I just have to get myself back on track and emilee and I will make you a bunch.
it will do us some good to change our routine of hospitals and funerals
thanks for the change of venue
feel better
staci
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